If cats had language (and blogs): Parsley's blog

[Back by popular demand, today's post is by my cat-whispering daughter, Lauren. Thanks, p-pod!]

Feed me
By Parsley

My Profile

Name: Parsley Moore
Location: Stuck inside the house
About me
I'm not fat. I'm big-boned. Also I love to eat. I'm so hungry. So very, very hungry.

Likes
The Furminator, chasing things, growling, hissing, howling at the door, howling for food, howling at Cilantro.

Dislikes
Doors and other restrictions to the outdoors, having to put up with other cats and humans, being hungry.

Friday
Why won't they feed me I'm so hungry I want to go out why won't they let me out oh god i'm trapped in this place SO HUNGRY GRRRR

Saturday
Today I yelled at the humans to feed me IMMEDIATELY. They didn't.

Sunday
The humans picked me up today, which I'll tolerate as long as they scritch my chin. Also I sat on the big human's lap. It's times like these, and also when they feed me, when it's nice to have humans around.

Monday
Cilantro is really creeping me out with all the attention. He walked up to me purring like crazy and I was like, "chill, man," and he was all "but I love you and stuff, please just pay attention to me" so I just bonked him in the face. He can be so clingy at times.

Tuesday
I GOT TO GO OUTSIDE TODAY MY LIFE IS COMPLETE I'M SO HAPPY I COULD HOWL

Wednesday
Oregano smacked me in the face today. Completely unprovoked too! I mean, all I did was hiss at him when he tried to pass me to get into the next room and then swat at his head a couple times. Man, that cat gets on my nerves.

Thursday
I got fed today. Mmmmm, food. Food is so great. I mean, it's delicious. I think I would die without food. I love food so much.

Friday
I licked Cilantro's head today. He seemed really happy for some reason. He was all nuzzly and purry and stuff. I guess he's ok sometimes. His head tastes pretty good too.

Saturday
I had a dream that I was chasing Cilantro and Oregano and howling. It was the best dream ever. Actually, today was a really good day. I mostly slept, but I also ate some too. If only every day could be so perfect.

Sunday
One thing that really annoys me (well, one of many things) is that sometimes, when I'm trying to get a point across to another cat or person through the medium of hissing, I snort. I think the comical sound detracts from the message I'm trying to communicate. The message of "I don't like you."

Monday
When the humans weren't looking I jumped on the counter and ate some of their food. It didn't taste very good. But hey, it was food.

Tuesday
I couldn't find my Spiderman ball ANYWHERE. I looked through the entire house and I howled for it because I thought it might recognize my voice or something, but it still didn't turn up. I AM SO MAD. I think I'll go take my anger out on someone's arm.

Wednesday
I found my Spiderman ball (it was in the litterbox! Who knew?), I ate some food, and I let the humans pet me. Oh, and Cilantro was very nice to me. And Oregano stayed out of my way. Life is good.